Nancy Reddy is intrigued. She’s taking classes in poetry and rhetoric at the University of Wisconsin, the same building where Harry Harlow’s infamous experiments explored maternal caregiving in rhesus monkeys. As a mother of two, Reddy ponders her own connection to research like that of the renowned psychologist, even starting to wonder herself: “What makes a good mother?” 

Reddy (A&S ’04) considers herself available, patient and invested in her own children. Even still, she is exhausted. If this was doing motherhood “right,” why did she feel so wrong?

Her longstanding curiosity led the award-winning author and poet to write “The Good Mother Myth: Unlearning Our Bad Ideas About How to Be a Good Mom.”

The book is Reddy’s first work of narrative nonfiction, which the publisher describes as as “blending history of science, cultural criticism and memoir.” Early praise noted that Reddy “weaves together social history and her own lived experience.”

In writing the book, Reddy, now a creative writing professor in New Jersey, realized she could find answers to her questions by looking back at her own story.

Part of that story includes Pitt. She arrived on campus in 2000 to major in poetry and minor in French. Classmates and professors such as Jan Beatty, Jeff Oaks and Sharon McDermott taught her that writing is a “community activity.” 

That idea resonated throughout her research and shaped her thoughts on who belonged to the community of motherhood. She believes that the idealized concept of the good mother “casts some mothers beyond the halo of societal approval,” and, too often, those who are pushed outside of the community of good motherhood are women from marginalized groups. 

But even mothers who do fit the myth, says Reddy, are mothers who should attempt to break the chains of impossible standards.

When mothers see themselves with more compassion, she says, they’re better able to connect with their kids and experience more joy in mothering.'

“I think it also makes it easier to connect with other parents and people around us—if mothers expend less energy judging ourselves and trying to live up to some external standard,” Reddy says. “When that happens, mothers are more able to show up as their authentic, messy selves and form real relationships with the people around them.”

While writing her book, Reddy says she was able to “look back” at herself with a lot more compassion, and she hopes “that other readers and new mothers are able to do the same.” 

Summer reading list

First Love: Guiding Teens Through Relationships and Heartbreak

Through interviews with more than 100 parents and teenagers, Lisa A. Phillips (A&S ’98) illuminates the confusing world of modern-day teenage love.

Phillips dives deep into teen romances, from a blossoming crush, to feeling “so gone” in love, to the first real heartbreak.

Paying close attention to the differences between the current generation of teenagers and their parents, Phillips, a journalist who teaches a college seminar on love and heartbreak, offers specific advice on navigating a teen’s first romantic journey in an age of ubiquitous technology, greater identity expression and new conversations around consent and boundaries. 

Lulu in the Spotlight: A South Asian Wedding Story

When her older cousin gets married, 7-year-old Lulu vows that this time, she will win her family’s wedding games to achieve fame and fortune.

Natasha Khan Kazi (BUS ’04) both wrote and illustrated this children’s book centered on the South Asian wedding tradition of joota chupai, or stealing the groom’s shoes.

To beat her athletic and cunning cousins, Lulu devises a plan to block the groom’s entrance, steal his shoes and win the prize — but she must do it her way.

Miss Me Forever

Tulsi Gurung, a quiet 16-year-old who speaks limited English, is transported from a refugee camp in Nepal to Erie, Pennsylvania, to be reunited with his grandfather.

Tulsi’s migration means he must grapple with the fear that he may never again see the sister he left behind.

Interspersed with letters from Tulsi’s sister, Eugene Cross’s (A&S ’99, ’06) latest novel follows the young man on his bittersweet journey across the American northeast and Canada as he searches for a better life and any trace of the family he lost.

— Thomas Riley